The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
