Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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