Define "chronic" masturbator.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
