Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
