No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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