Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can't turn off my feet"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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