the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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