im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
