I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
