i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
