My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
