I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
