I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
