Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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