everyone is single if you try hard enough
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize