apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
