I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
