I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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