So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
