oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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