just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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