11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
