Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize