Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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