Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
