Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Boobs are out for the taking
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
