just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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