is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize