I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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