Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
