i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
