I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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