I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
