Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
