If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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