I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We named our party play list daddy issues
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize