I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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