so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What a dumb baby whore.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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