And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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