woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
