We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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