girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
