I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
third nipple confirmed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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