My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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