I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
