I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
