I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize