If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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