dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize