We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
