We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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