it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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