xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
