im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
