I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
