in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
