where does the pee come out of this thing
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize