Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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