Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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