Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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