random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
