i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
