just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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