i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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