Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
