How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize