My liver just broke up with me...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
